General/Life Archives - Page 4 of 7

Archive of ‘General/Life’ category

20
Feb
2013

Overdue for a catch-up

Why hello there,

I return from a blogging hiatus as the Wife of my best friend and so I thought I should have a quick chat (to myself basically) to update you all and let you all into what my life has been like in the past couple of weeks and what it is like now

First off I missed blogging but life got so chaotic the couple of weeks before the wedding and still hasn’t quite returned to normal. Blogging was the easiest thing to sacrifice and to be honest I was too stressed to sit down and blog even when I did have the time!

Secondly: the wedding was on Sunday just gone and it was perfect. It exceeded my expectations in many ways and I only have one regret (which was my weight, no one wants to get married when they don’t feel like they are at the right weight but this is a tiny teeny detail in the full scope of what the day was like). It was the perfect weather for our little outdoor ceremony and for the marquee garden party dinner. Edd and his boys looked amazing and my two bridesmaids looked like models! I won’t go into a huge amount of detail as I have a whole series of posts on various aspects of the big day that I will start trickling through the blog. Unfortunately the wedding photos will take a good couple of months to arrive so until then I will make do with the small number taken by some friends and family.

I had a slight hilarious disaster the night before our wedding eve that through everything off! I can’t wait to write a blog to share with you guys about it. It makes me laugh now but at the time I cried like a baby.

Now that the wedding is over (our *honeymoon* isn’t really until the beginning of march where we go up north for a week) I am back to full time job hunting. Pre-wedding I was feeling pretty horrid over the job hunting business after being rejected several times for lack of experience or for my age or for my ethnicity. After the small job hunting break pre-wedding I feel recharged and ready to keep being rejected until someone takes me on! I’m also applying for jobs outside of where I want my specific experience as I figure the main thing is to get an income and then I can use my free time to volunteer and get experience that way.

Being a Wife feels pretty much the same as before hahaha. Edd and I haven’t quite clicked on to it all yet but I doubt much will change. I have to find out how I am supposed to change my name because I have no idea how I go about doing this haha. I am planning on hyphenating my name (Lockhart-Weaver) although the celebrant at our wedding ignored my carefully typed out ceremony that I wrote and called me Mrs Weaver regardless hahaha. Cue everyone in the ceremony being confused.

Edd and I have joined a local Jets gym (one of the 24 h0ur gyms throughout Auckland) and they have TV’s on EVERY bike, cross-trainer and tread mill. Despite some channels not being available I am very happy to be able to distract myself from the pain of cardio by absorbing myself in pointless tv shows that normally I would be slobbed out on the couch in front of. Also Edd is an amazing gym buddy and being in a pair makes motivation a lot easier. When one of us doesn’t feel like it (usually me) it is a lot easier to push through and go when I know Edd is there with me.

Our house is full of left over wedding cupcakes that we all can’t bear to eat haha. Who would have thought it could get to this?

I also can’t bear to face the dishes as there is icing equipment from the wedding, platters, containers and so on that have taken over. For now I refuse to clean and that means no cooking either as we have zero room for it (Edd will be horrified that becoming a wife hasn’t turned me into a perfect house cleaner and cooker, sorry love!)

Now the wedding is over we can also start putting some thought into planning our trip to Europe at the end of this year (around August/September) and that makes me excited! All I need is a job so we can budget how much extra we can save.

This weekend I am going to the lantern festival in the city (Saturday night) for the first time so that’s exciting and it’s my birthday on Sunday (I become 22)! (although I am working, but it’s looking after my brothers so doesn’t feel much like work). Sunday night a close friend is cooking me up dumplings and teaching me her ways (I hope). Exciting weekend yay!

I think that’s enough rambling to catch y0u all up! Look forward for lots of posts coming up, I have a haul, sample bar from February a job hunting ramble and a whoooole lot of wedding day posts on stuff like our decor, the makeup, the clothing, the music, ceremony blah blah (so sorry in advance if you have zero interest in all that rubbish!)

Happy to be back

(p.s. here’s a sneak peak of the big day

02
Jan
2013

Looking forward: Goals for 2013

categories: General/Life, Health

Hi All!

So I find it hard to believe it is already 2013. Where did 2012 go? Every year that flies past and leaves me breathless makes me a little uneasy because, as I am sure a lot of people feel, I want to feel like I am getting the most out of each year I am lucky enough to be alive! And yet I know this year, it felt like I scraped by day by day, a bit of an emotional wreck just trying to finish University and deal with Life’s lovely challenges. So 2013 I want to try harder. Now I have this lovely wee corner of the internet I think trying out some goal-setting may be useful. Having my goals up here to see whenever I want makes me feel a little more accountable and I plan to do either 4 monthly goal review posts to see how things are going. Anyway, after that rambly introduction here are my rather random goals for 2013.

1. Look after my body better. Ok so I resisted my usual “lose 15kg” type of goals (although that would be great) because as much as I would love to be a skinny wee thing, I’m not and I don’t think its a particularly healthy goal, for me anyway. Instead 2013 will be a year to focus on health. This includes more balanced meals (not just skipping meals to make up for naughty takeaways the night before), more vegetables and fruit (which have been seriously lacking in my student budget diet of 2012), more exercise (3 times a week for half an hour, any kind of exercise I feel I can motivate myself for) and other generally healthy activities. All at once this probably won’t happen but over time I hope to make some small and manageable changes that will move me in this general direction.

2. Put myself first. In terms of my relationships I want to learn how to put the needs and wants of others aside every once in a while in order to focus on my own mental health and priorities as well as my relationship with Edd. I love my family and friends but life is complicated and putting my needs second in order to please everyone is the habit of a lifetime that I want to keep working on reducing. This doesn’t mean I don’t care about all these wonderful people but just want to put a bit of care into myself as well.

3. Make blogging more regular and less stressful. I love this little blog but I would like to improve the regularity of my posts. I want to become one of those people who has multiple post planned and drafted so that I am not constantly doing things last minute. Having a journal where I can keep a plan of when I want to post certain things is something I am going to start doing to keep things less stressful and more organised.

4. Become more organised in other areas of my life. This ranges from cleaning schedules, keeping my makeup and nailpolish under control, keeping more written records, sticking to my list making which helps me more productive on a day to day basis and so on.

5. Read more books. I love books and I don’t read enough thanks to 4 years of university which made me feel guilty every time I wasn’t reading lecture notes or text books. After seeing people do the 50 book project in 2012 I think 50 books is a good number but we’ll see how manageable it is once I get into a better routine. I would also like to share more about what I read on the blog, although I’m not sure people would be particularly interested haha.

6. Go on more dates. I love spending my evenings curled up on the couch with Edd and Callie, watching movies and eating pizza and popcorn, but I want to try more things with Edd and go out more often. As lovely as it is to stay home variety is the spice of life so 2013 will bring some new restaurants, new activities together, new holidays overseas and who knows what else!

7. Develop a more positive outlook on life. This something I started working on this year with my Made me smile posts which I found so helpful in encouraging me to look back on the past week in terms of the highlights and the positive moments. I hope that I can continue to improve in this area as my default position in life has always been more on the stressed and pessimistic side.

So there are 7 pretty general areas of my life that I want to work on in 2013. As I mentioned in my What I learned from 2012 post, change in these areas won’t come without some hard work and perseverance from me so I’ll do my best to use this year to its potential and enjoy each moment!

Does anyone else still set goals? I know they go in and out of fashion but I think setting goals is useful as long as there isn’t a lot of guilt and self-punishment involved when things don’t go to plan. For me I just need a little direction in life that keeps me on track and stops me losing sense of myself and what I want from the year to come. Let me know what you think and if you have set any goals or resolutions for 2013!

p.s. Last night I read this great post by a fellow tweeter and blogger which talked about the importance of Values as opposed to goals. Sarah discussed rather brilliantly the danger on having incongruent goals and values in life which makes achieving one’s goals harder than it should be. After reading her post I went and thought about the kind of values I want to focus on for 2013 and things that I wrote down were happiness, health, love and relationships amongst a couple others. I then used these to edit and refine some of my goals, removing a couple that I felt weren’t in line with the values I wanted to focus on. I highly recommend checking out her post (Here!) and her blog in general

01
Jan
2013

Lessons learnt 2012

categories: General/Life, Uncategorized

1. No such as thing as too much nail polish. Except there is and I should stop buying it.

2. Tea is a magical substance that makes all situations better

3. Sometimes all we need to do is say No

4. You can never rely on New Zealand weather

5. I’m not really ready for the real world yet, but you fake it til you make it

6. Don’t ever assume people know how you feel about them.

7. Learning how to control stress can change your life

8. I feel more comfortable around cats than people

9. My family is the craziest and most dysfunctional I could imagine. I love it.

10. Blogging isn’t as easy as it looks

11. Procrastination is pointless

12. Love is never easy but it’s always worth it

13. Bees aren’t quite as scary as I make them out to be in my head

14. Wedding planning is easier to do on Pinterest than it is in real life

15. You can’t expect change without putting in the hard work yourself

It’s impossible to condense the knowledge I’ve gained over the past year bit those are just a few snippets of my education from 2012
X

30
Dec
2012

2012: A year to be thankful for

categories: General/Life, University

So as 2012 comes to a close here are some of the things I am thankful for (in no particular order )

1. A fiancee who loves me and an imminent wedding to make me his wife after 6 years of being best friends

2. A 4 year university conjoint degree, over and finished so that I can graduate next May and move forward in my career path

3. A family (and future in-laws) who supports me through stressful exam times, wedding planning, surgery, moving and so much more

4. A cat who is my baby and who gives me cuddles everyday (and who is still the cutest cat I know, despite her lack of a tail)

5. A surgery that I have needed for a long time that finally occurred and that will make life a little easier and my health a lot better

6. A Grandma who despite her disease remains someone I can spend time with, drinking coffee and appreciating the little things in life

7. A future that is uncertain but exciting and a present that is challenging but rewarding

8. A home that despite its many challenges has been a roof over our head and a place where we could put up Christmas decorations

9. A country where violence is minimal and Guns are heavily controlled so that we can feel safe at home, in town and in schools

10. Friends online and off who are a constant source of laughter, girl talks, beauty advice and support for all aspects of my life. This year I have met an incredible bunch of people who have truly changed my life (even when they live in a different country)

11. A blog that started as a little idea and grew into a lot of little ideas. Still growing and still deciding what it should be but a source of joy and escape from day-to-day life for me and a way to learn how to become better in a variety of ways

12. New neighbors that are nowhere near as loud or unfriendly as the previous ones

13. A flat that is situated two minutes walk from a mall. Both a blessing and a curse but definitely something I am thankful for, along with the starbucks that comes with it

14. An amazing Thai restaurant just down the road that I will miss with a vengeance if I leave

15. A summer Christmas full of beach swims, pohutakawa trees, ham and salads for Christmas lunch, family spending time in the sun and blue skies

16. Some amazing books that have filled my time with adventures and my mind with thoughts and knowledge

17. Children who have made my life tiring but fun-filled and who teach me more than any lecturer or text book could

18. Emotional challenges that although testing have made me a stronger, better person, happier in myself

19. A university education that has enlarged my knowledge as well as my options and opportunities in life. It also showed me the path in life I would like to walk down at some point in the future to create change and inspire lives.

20. A life that is full of love, laughs, challenges, chances, friends, families, strangers, smiles, tears, growth, cats, changes and so much more. A life that is mine to screw up and learn from fixing. A life that is mine to share with people who hold my heart. A life that I will always be thankful for, every second that I receive to live it.

23
Dec
2012

Adventures of a Bride to Be: Choosing a celebrant

categories: Adventures of a bride to be, General/Life

Hi All,

I know my Adventures of a Bride to Be post was ages ago but with life running havoc wedding planning sort of fell to the side for a little while. First off, I have so much to do it’s not even funny (i’ll tell you a secret, I still haven’t got a dress! Shhh….) and the wedding is February 17th! Very quickly approaching. Panic stations in full mode right? Wrong. I’m not sure why exactly but I feel pretty calm about the whole thing. As long as Edd and I have somewhere and someone to marry us, everything else will fall in place (at least that’s what I am telling myself haha, might just be effective defense mechanisms in place so I don’t break down completely!).

Anyway, this week we crossed off the important decision of confirming the celebrant we wanted and I thought I would write a post about the process we went through as I found this pretty challenging at first. I started by scouring the internet to search the huge numbers of celebrants available to us here in Auckland. In my mind I had vague ideas about the kind of person I wanted. This was things like I preferred a female celebrant (not sure why exactly), wanted someone with personality and humor wanted someone who was flexible to our situation and our needs for the ceremony and most importantly someone who we personally felt a connection with. Although a celebrant was going to be a stranger at the wedding I wanted someone who didn’t feel like a stranger and had the personal connection with us as a couple (if that makes sense). Oh I should probably mention I also had money in mind haha, I wish that wasn’t the case for weddings but the cost was pretty important for us as well.

Unfortunately, searching the internet makes it relatively easy to see what a person looks like and their gender but otherwise it is very difficult to judge their style or their personal approach to creating the ceremony alongside you. I was finding it hard to make any decisions based on websites and directory profiles. On top of this I was continually shocked at the prices for the celebrants! I was going in thinking between $350 to $450 maximum (having zero experience in this area I should add) and so seeing people charging $500-$700 for the minimal packages (not including rehearsals for example) I was a little flabbergasted. After a month or two of scouring websites I sort of temporarily gave up and stopped looking. I had looked at so many profiles and websites that I wasn’t really feeling positive or enthusiastic about the process anymore.

During this period of rest from the celebrant hunt Edd and I saw a sign for the Howick Wedding Show and thought we would pop along to it (along with Edd’s parents) . Whilst there we met two celebrants, one of which has become our current choice, all booked in. The first one (Kathleen) although a registered celebrant, wasn’t actually there advertising herself as a celebrant but was displaying a venue however being a friendly, chatty person she asked us about our wedding planning and our progress and after hearing the dismal state of my celebrant search offered up her services. During this chat Edd and I (as well as his parents) felt completely at ease with Kathleen and we walked off and looked at each other with a look that said mutual agreement that she would be a great choice! As if a personal connection after 5 minutes wasn’t enough we also encountered the 2nd celebrant who was there to promote her services. We approached her for a chat and had zero connection, to me she felt cold and very professional (not in a particularly good way). This only confirmed for us that Kathleen was someone special who would bring her personality to making a beautiful ceremony with us.

Monday, this week, Edd and I had our first meeting with her. To be honest I think we were a little nervous mainly because we both had strong opinions on what kind of ceremony we wanted and we were worried that her amazing personality could translate into someone who wasn’t very flexible around the ceremony and its crafting. Thankfully the meeting went better than I could have imagined. Kathleen gave us heaps of materials and said that we could go away and basically write the ceremony (and use her guides and examples if we wanted) ourselves that would reflect us as a couple and be personal and unique. We left with big smiles on our face, I must say! The cherry on top was her amazing price of only $450 (she dropped down to $400 for us very kindly, shh!) and that included a rehearsal if we wanted.

So here we are now, Edd and I with some pretty exciting homework to do . I look forward to spending time with Edd choosing the words that are going to join us together in marriage and can’t wait for the actual day! We are also planning to write our own vows so I may do a little post on how I find that process in the near future (would also appreciate any tips haha!).

I don’t know if this was helpful for anyone but I thought I would share my random experiences finding a celebrant and leave a link to Kathy Bigwood for any upcoming brides in Auckland who want someone friendly, fun, honest and helpful!

Here are my 4 tips at this early stage for Celebrant choosing

1. Although it can be hard to sift through the huge numbers of celebrants, the directories online can still be helpful to give you some places to start (like here and here). Look for celebrants with a website so you can go and have more of a look at their personal style. Some websites my even have a video (such as Kathy’s website) which I found helpful in seeing the Celebrant in action. This can also give you some ideas about what you want/don’t want in your own ceremony

2. Don’t be scared of getting in contact. At the beginning I avoided asking questions and sending emails as I was worried I would feel locked into some sort of agreement (silly, I know) and at the end I realize that asking questions is really the best way to get an idea of who the celebrant is and how they respond to you and your personal preferences for the ceremony (including pricing which I found often wasn’t available on the website). Asking questions can be a good way to find out how they usually work with couples, whether they have experience with the venue, what their experience is and qualifications are as well.

3. Choose someone you BOTH feel completely comfortable with and have a connection with. Although meeting them in person obviously helps a lot with this phone conversations or even conversations over email can still give an indication of whether you will feel a connection with. You want someone on your day who will be there to help give you the best ceremony possible and you don’t want someone who will make the ceremony feel awkward or not personal.

4. Stick to your guns. Luckily we had no issues with our personal preferences but I think when it comes to your wedding the celebrant is there for you, not the other way around. If they refuse to create the ceremony you desire then move on. It’s your day and your wedding and you don’t want to look back and regret the decisions you made around the core event of the day.

Again, this is all just from my own limited experience I would love to hear any of your experiences or tips for celebrant choosing or for planning the ceremony/writing vows.

n.b. This post was not sponsored or influenced in any by any of the people or websites I mentioned apart from my own experiences with them. All opinions are completely my own, crazy ramblings

10
Dec
2012

Made Me Smile: Time for an Update

categories: General/Life, Made Me Smile

So I am pretty sure I owe everyone a bit of an update along with my Monday made me smile! I have been missing in action from MyFoxyCorner for the last couple of weeks due to a nose operation I had (septoplasty and bilateral inferior turbinoblasties in case anyone is interested, hope I got those right :-/). It wasn’t a serious operation at all but was one I had been wanting to get done for ages. Since I can remember I have always had constant blocked noses, colds for 90% of the year and various other sicknesses and the suspected cause of this was a stuffed up nose. After seeing a specialist the operation was suggested and thanks to my private health insurance it was all go! Now I am in recovery period (6 days since operation) and feeling surprisingly well! At first I felt like my nose had been crushed and my whole face had been punched in but gradually the pain has become more manageable (although I can’t say I am looking forward to stopping the pain medication) and I don’t feel as much like fainting every time I stand up! So today I thought it was time to get back to reality and post a few photos from last couple of weeks (mostly pre-op though as I am not one to document my less favorite moments in life).

So before I had operation I was at my dad’s finishing off the two weeks of Nanny work and so made some chocolate cupcakes with chocolate/vanilla buttercream to share with everyone and so that dad had something yummy to come home to. Such a fool proof recipe that works every time I do it, I must get around to sharing with you all!

On the last day when they came home it was time for a dog bath in order to prepare for lots of dog cuddling. Tilly is NOT one of those dogs that like baths. Luckily she only managed to jump out on me once but she was not a big fan of mine afterwards. Lucky she is such a cutie though.

I had to include this action shot of Flick chasing Tilly around the room post-bath! Flick the Cat despises the Dog at the best of times but after her bath Tilly gets quite crazy and runs around, all the while with Flick looking on disapprovingly. This time Flick had had enough of Tilly and so proceeded to chase her all over the house for ages. It was hilarious to watch and I’m glad I got a shot of them in action haha!

Dad and Pip brought back with them a few Essie colours that I had requested as I can afford the $8 US much more than the $26 NZ. These are all gorgeous colours and my two favorites are Fiji (the only non-blue), Go Overboard (beautiful dark teal) and Stroke of Brilliance (the stunning cornflower blue top coat) but I can’t wait to wear all of them! The other ones are beach bum blu (2nd from left) and midnight cami (last).

A delicious breakfast out on the weekend before operation at Buckland’s Beach. Edd had the Eggs Benedict which looked scrumptious and I had the Muesli with fruit and yogurt plus a Soy chai latte, both of which were perfection! This is making me hungry!

And post op my photos mainly consist of Callie who has been my buddy for the past week as I was restricted to bed rest (sounded great at the start but got super boring lol). She has to sleep on me and can’t just sleep beside me on the bed which was annoying but cute I was just happy to have someone home with me whilst the Amazing Edd was busy at work. Edd did an amazing job of taking care of me when he could be home I would have been lost without him!

Yesterday was the first day I dragged myself out of bed to set up some Christmas decorations with Edd! He got out our second hand Christmas tree that is a bit wonky and funny looking but is ours! We never normally do Christmas decorations at home because our old flatmates weren’t that interested and we spend the days around Christmas with family and not in our little flat anyway. Last year however, some family friends who were heading back to another country gave us their little tree and so this year Christmas at our flat was born! $20 of tinsel/lights/decorations later and I was one very happy little fox with a beautiful Christmas tree to sit and stare at! I got so much joy out of doing a bit of Christmas decoration with Edd (who is just as excited for Christmas as me) and now we can’t wait to do some Christmas shopping as soon as I am well enough! Callie was a bit confused but I’m sure she loves it too 😉

So there is my last couple of weeks in smiles! Now I have so much to do but also so much to look forward to and I am very excited! Sorry for skipping out on last month’s favorites but blogging should be back on track now and I have so many posts ready to write out for you all. See you soon!

30
Nov
2012

Friday Letters: Nearly Home-Time!

categories: Friday's Letters, General/Life

Dear Callie: I miss you but tomorrow night I will be home with you finally! Yay! Dear Bed: Looking forward to spending some quality time together shortly. Dear Surgeon: You seem like a nice, intelligent guy. Please don’t kill me on Tuesday. Dear Summer: Hi, Nice to Meet You. Please let this weather stick around until the 17th of February. Thanks in advance. Dear Mum: Have a lovely trip to Adelaide! Thank you for helping me out work-wise now that I am unemployed and no longer can use being a student as an excuse. I love knowing you are always on my side in helping me tackle life. Dear Mr 5 and Mr 10: Although I am exhausted after our two weeks I will actually miss the chaos of life with you! You are both such amazing and unique people who will grow up to do amazing things. This I know. Don’t ever give up on your dreams or let others beat you down and know that there is always someone who will be on your side and love you unconditionally. What are big sisters for? Dear Monthly Favorites: I am afraid you will be slightly delayed but early November still counts right? Dear Soy Chai Lattes: After detesting soy milk throughout my childhood when I was forced to have it instead of normal milk I now love you. Your nutty flavor goes perfectly with the spices of a chai latte and creates a drink that is almost too delicious. Dear Edd: Sometimes I feel like you love Callie more than me…but I probably make you feel the same so let’s just agree us three all love each other unquantifiably.

27
Nov
2012

Made Me Smile…running late

categories: General/Life, Made Me Smile

Hi All!

So I am often running late in life and this post is no exception. I’m sure you were absolutely devastated that I didn’t post this yesterday (! ;)) but I thought Tuesday would do. Looking after my 2 youngest brothers and the animals whilst my Dad and Step-Mum are in New York has been tiring and taken over most aspects of my life including blogging and makeup (which I haven’t touched all week, oops). Here was last week in smiles

Edd and Tilly napping after a long tiring day. What a pair of cuties.

Mid-week I got my SampleBar box which was a lovely addition to my day and I was rather pleased with the contents which you can read all about right here.

This is Flick and Tilly and they don’t share much love so this rare moment of happy eating had to captured as photographic proof that food is pretty awesome for bringing people together.

Saturday Night Edd and I went with his family to see the Mary Poppins stage musical in Auckland as a birthday present for his Mum. It was pretty incredible and I was smiling for almost every minute. Definitely recommend to everyone as we all enjoyed it immensely.

Seeing Callie clean her face like this makes me smile/giggle uncontrollably. Seriously, it’s kind of a problem especially in the middle of the night when Callie does this and I can’t help but giggle. Needless to say Edd wakes up pretty confused. I thought I would stop eventually but I have come to accept my brain just literally cannot accept all the cuteness. P.s. I miss Callie and can’t wait to go home to her at the end of this week

Amazing clouds in the sky captured mid-evening at a School art exhibition the boys and I trooped along to. Mr 5 was stoked at being able to play on the school playground at 7.30 pm instead of having to get ready for bed and was exhausted the next day haha.

Doggy Kisses. Need I say more?

Other things that made me smile this week: Passing every course for last semester with another strong A- average which I was pretty content to finish on. Soy chai lattes which are incredibly delicious despite me refusing to drink soy milk as a child. Cupcake day at School. Mr 5 being the best swimmer in his swimming class (I felt so proud I could have burst!). Dog walks in the hot sun that means it is almost summer. Making small but steady progress on Wedding planning.

Hope everyone enjoyed their week

xxx

25
Nov
2012

Where to from here…?

categories: General/Life, University

So if you read my post about what I learnt from Uni you may be wondering what will I do now? (Or maybe it is just me pondering this question).

After spending my life at school and then at Uni with no break in between study feels like my life, what I know, what I am comfortable with. So naturally I planned to carry on with it. Unfortunately the program I wanted to carry on with was a 4 year honors/PhD combined program in clinical psychology which took only 11 students per year and the key quality for them in choosing was Life Experience. I can quantify my grades, I can record every job of every year and every ounce of work experience. But life experience? Despite my 21 years I feel I do have more life experience than some but I completely understand their reservations in training up someone who has never worked full time, hasn’t been married, has no kids and so on. How can I help others cope with the issues they face when I still have a lot of room to grow and mature? So I applied and in case you hadn’t gathered I didn’t get through. Was I surprised? Not at all. Was I disappointed? Utterly devastated. This is my dream and to be able to get in would have meant the next 4 years being planned and ready. Instead I was left feeling like I had failed (and I take failure a little too seriously some may say). Skip forward a couple days of tears and self-doubt/shame and I was feeling a bit different. I still feel embarrassed to tell people, even though it would have been a very slim chance of getting in I can’t help but feel that sense of not being good enough (which I wasn’t) and having to admit to people that I failed to prove myself this time around makes my heart hurt.

On the flip-side of this rather depressing coin was the positive thinking (which was helped by my amazing mum and fiancee who told me I was silly for feeling like a failure and reminded me of the facts). After 4 years of study I am tired. Mentally, Emotionally and Physically tired. So although clinical psych is what I want to do, going straight into another 4 years of study that would be a lot harder was daunting. To be honest I wasn’t sure I could take it. I needed a break and a change from the study that had consumed my life. So God shut this door for now and to be honest I don’t blame him. Maybe I am not ready right now for this 4 year program and maybe in a couple years time I will be in a better place to cope with what the course throws at me.

Okay whew that was a rambly explanation of what I’m not doing haha. Now onto where I am going in the next couple of years. First up I want to do a 3 week CELTA (English language teaching qualification) which is held in January and is a great way to start earning more than minimum wage in whichever city/country I happen to be in. Then in August/September the idea is that Edd and I will up and leave New Zealand to move to Paris for a year. I will work in English teaching and anything else possible (having just done an art history major I would love to do some work in an art gallery) and Edd will hopefully get some work in software/testing as that is what he has been doing so far this year. Why France you ask? (Probably not as I am sure France is pretty self-explanatory). I did French in high school/uni and love everything about France and Paris and Edd feels pretty much the same way. Moving away from NZ has its downsides namely leaving our family which we are very close to and leaving Callie! Our lovely baby (Cat) will be relocated to one of our Family’s houses where she will be looked after and hopefully settle in. Leaving Callie feels a little bit like abandoning my child (a total exaggeration I’m sure but not having kids she’s the closest I’ve got haha – cue uncontrollable feelings of guilt haha). If I could easily bring her with me I would. Although leaving our family will be weird and terrifying for me at least, it is also part of why this is a good idea. Being reliant on family is something I need to work on and by moving overseas with Edd I think I can grow and mature in a way I haven’t been able to yet. So after a year in France we will come on back to NZ and I will probably apply for the psych program again hopefully with more life experience and a renewed ability to throw myself in to the program. So there are my next three years penciled out. Is France set in stone? Nope but it’s our main goal at the moment and to be honest sounds close to perfection. Coffees, walks through Paris in the rain, tiny apartments, boulangeries, endless varieties of cheese at local markets, Europe at our doorstep, weekends filled with art galleries and museums… It won’t be easy but it will be an amazing experience for us both.

I guess I should also mention a couple of other things that are fast approaching. First off in a couple of weeks (4th December all going well) I will be having nose surgery No, not to make my nose beautiful and shapely but to reshape the interior and bust up my misbehaving sinuses, all which should help with my chronic sinusitis and other related health issues. I am a little terrified after being warned of the various risks but excited to get this done. Then after January and the CELTA course Edd and I have our wee wedding in Feb (17th) so that will be a pretty exciting moment in both of our lives! Needless to say I have mountains of wedding planning to work on whilst stuck home in bed for couple of weeks after surgery.

Well, that was a mouthful. There is my life laid out for ya’ll to see. I’m nervous, I’m excited, I’m … well I’m still a little removed from it all to be honest. It doesn’t quite feel real at the moment haha. For Edd and I the key is to remain flexible and yet hard working so we can keep saving the money that will allow us to go to France if we decide to.

This is an excerpt from one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost (The Road Not Taken) which seemed rather appropriate now faced with the future. The importance of the choices we make and yet the inability to see the true effects each choice will have on our future rings clear as Edd and I try to make our way through the future. I only pray for the wisdom and strength to choose my paths in life and gain from them the most that I can, with my partner alongside.

Anyway, I am sure this is a pointless post for most but in case anyone was curious as to where my life was heading after Uni I though I would quickly throw this up. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend

20
Nov
2012

20 things university has taught me

categories: General/Life, University

Here are some of my lessons learnt from 4 years of University , in no particular order:

1. The love and support from family is something incredible. Feeling like there are people out there who will love you regardless of your grades and will be there for condolences on a bad exam as well as praise for an A+ helped me get through Uni with a clear head and a happy heart.

2. Mums are great at supplying caffeine and chats and reminding me to aim for the heavens.

3. I am not the smartest person and I don’t know everything.

4. Learning is a process that will take me a lifetime and will never finish. This is a good thing.

5. People are interesting and different and incredibly intelligent so make time to chat to strangers and get to know the person sitting next to you. Smile.

6. Tea is a life saver at busy exam periods.

7. Assessments are stressful and there is little that can change this.

8. Retaining a sense of perspective is the only way to keep moving through the really hard times. In the end this is just one aspect of life and there is so much more.

9. My time management skills will never improve and I will always leave things to the last minute. Things could be worse.

10. Having a partner in crime to get through Uni alongside you is amazing and makes the experience much more enjoyable. It also helps knowing someone else is just as stressed as you.

11. Don’t drink large amounts of caffeine prior to an exam/tests.

12. Biology is fun and interesting but beheading and dissecting termites…not so much.

13. Don’t forget to laugh. Alone, with friends, on the phone…let it out and enjoy the funny moments in life.

14. Never leave home with out lip balm and a nail file.

15. Not everything is going to go my way and in the end I have to accept that the future isn’t mine to command and requires some flexibility.

16. Kitty cuddles can make a terrible day better again.

17. I don’t have to be perfect in everything I do. Mistakes are part of how we grow and mature (I must be incredibly mature for my age…) and there is no point beating yourself up about them.

18. Chocolate is great as an emotional study aid but eating healthy keeps the mind and body in its best form.

19. I am stronger now than 4 years ago and I know myself better than anyone else who tries put me down or judge me.

20. Last up Uni has shown me where I want to end up in 10 years time, as a clinical psychologist working with children and living a healthy life full of love and happiness. This might not happen straight away but having some sense of direction for the future is a reassuring thing.

See you all soon with a part 2 post about what’s happening now Uni is over.

P.s. this is not an exhaustive list, merely my tired minds ramblings on a VERY hot day

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