December Sample Bar Glam Pack

IMG_5534Another month, another Sample Bar Glam Box. After the improvements in last month’s box I was excited to see what this month’s would include and I wasn’t disappointed! I was also pleasantly surprised to receive my box before a lot of other New Zealander’s as the other times I have always got mine at the last moment. Here’s what was included this month in a box themed towards a night out with products that are supposed to help with a day full of work and then night life.

1. Ulta3 Nail Polish in the shade Honolulu (Full Size 13.5mL): I was excited to see a nail polish included being a self-confessed nail polish addict (as well as being happy to see a brand I haven’t come across here in NZ) however was a little dubious as I don’t think I have worn yellow nail polish very much, if ever. This shade is a bright sunny yellow that is sheer on the first coat but two would suffice for even coverage. I was happy with the quick drying formula and surprised with how much I like the colour. Also, this colour is PERFECTION for summer! There were a variety of shades in everyone’s boxes so I am excited to see what everyone else got! Price: $4.99  (these are all the prices to buy on samplebar)

2. Instant Le Tan in Le Can (Full Size 45mL): This was one product that I thought although a nice one to try was a little repetitive after the bronzer gel that was in last months box. For someone who doesn’t really use fake tans very often I’ll have to work hard to make sure I use up both of these products. Otherwise this product seems like an easy to apply quick tanning option that may come in handy and has a lovely smell of vanilla (I LOVE vanilla scents!). Price: $11.00

3. Show Stoppers Fashion Tape (2 nude strips): I didn’t really get what these were, being a little dim at times, but these are two double sided tapes that can be used with slightly daring or dangerous clothing to keep certain bits and bobs contained haha. Although this is a problem I don’t come across very often being a stay at home 21 yr old nanna and not having much “up there” to keep contained this does sound like it could come in handy on a rare night out. Price: $19.95 for a 24 strip pack (nude and black available).

4. So Susan Fairy Lash Mascara (Full Size):  This was my absolute favorite this month as I love to try new mascaras and was glad for a full size. This month there were 4 potential So Susan products so I am looking forward to seeing what other people got and their opinions on them. I tried this mascara straight away and loved it! Firstly I think the packaging and the name is cute which always helps haha. This mascara gave my pathetic lashes volume AND length which made me very happy as I have difficulty finding a mascara that does this for me. I was very impressed :) The one downside was that during application I got mascara on my top lid which I don’t normally do. This might just be me finding the brush a little hard to use or maybe the formula was a little wet to start off with but after a little practice I got the hang of it. Price: Ranges from $15.99-$38.50 for the various makeup products but I don’t know how much the mascara specifically is :(

5. Scarlett and Greene’s Skincare Range (3 sample sachet’s): So this is a little booklet with three small sample sachets of their skincare products (probably only enough for one use). I don’t know if everyone got the same samples but I got the Come Clean cleanser and makeup remover, the Bare All breakout control wash and the Under Cover natural moisturizer with SPF15.  I haven’t tried any of these yet but I like that the cleanser is soap free as I have sensitive skin, I like the natural oils and extracts that are in each product and I like the SPF in the moisturizer. All are made for young skin and are New Zealand made. I’ve never heard of this range but would be interested in purchasing the full size moisturizer and cleanser (I don’t get breakouts so the Bare All product isn’t really useful for me). Overall I like the little booklet with a few samples but sachet samples do annoy me a little as one use is never really enough to judge a product. Price:  Full size products are between $28.95 and $30.99 which seems pretty expensive compared to my usual skin care products.

IMG_5540(thought I would include a picture of the booklet because I thought it was a cute idea)

So there are the products in this month box. I keep trying to decide whether I think it is better than last month’s and I think I would have to say it’s better for me personally but it isn’t a big difference at all. I’m excited to see what comes next month!

Let me know what you thought if you received a box this month :)

Xx

Click here for my original post on the Sample Bar Glam Packs
Also, these boxes were paid for in full by me and all opinions are my own and not sponsored or influenced in any way.

Made Me Smile! Recovering

Hi All! Another Monday, another week of what made me smile!

So as Christmas fast approaches Christmas presents have been on the mind however my recovery from nose surgery has meant that I have had to take things a little slower than I would like. Regardless Christmas shopping is almost done and I am getting more excited every day. The other key thing this week is that I have started job hunting and today just finished a mammoth of an application form :-( Always seems like such a giant waste of time when I probably won’t get it but I guess it is good practice. Anyway, here is my last week in smiles :)

photo (58)Mid week brownie baking. Despite not having the exact ingredients, after a while of no baking I was happy to whip these up to munch on with Mum when she spent the afternoon keeping me company :) Such a lovely day of green tea, nail polish, endless chats and brownies.

photo (59)Although the weather is a bit dodgy now last week featured plenty of hot sunny days where I could sit outside with Callie and soak up some sun. I love when she does this and reaches out to touch me while we are resting haha, it always brings a smile to my face (although every thing Callie does results in a smile so that isn’t really saying much).

photo (62)One of the joys of being too sick to do much cooking is having on-hand excuses to order Thai! I talk about this place (FatBoy Thai in Sandringham) way too much so I’ll just leave you with the picture of the mountain of Thai food we got.

photo (61)I was finally feeling well enough to venture out to the movies this week so Edd and I went and sat through a very enjoyable Hobbit! I was wary after hearing mixed things but I personally enjoyed it immensely! I am also now making my way through the book which brings back a lot of childhood memories. The popcorn and ice-creams weren’t bad either :p

photo (60)Saturday Edd and I caught up with his parents for a delicious pub lunch and I was very happy to see Rekorderlig cider on the menu! I tried the Mango and Rasberry for something new and it was delicious but the Strawberry and Lime remains my favorite :) Seriously though, this drink just screams summer.

photo (56)Speaking of Summer….Isn’t Brown’s Bay beautiful at this time of year? Now that I don’t live on the East Coast Bays of Auckland I truly miss the beauty of the beaches that line the suburbs :( I definitely was a bit spoilt being surrounded with beaches and I didn’t really click to how lucky I was until I moved to our current area which has no beaches in sight.

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Whilst in Brown’s Bay on Saturday Edd and I popped into one of my favorite pet shops and spent waaayyy too long fawning over the many cute kittens that were all doing suitably cute, cat-like things. Here’s a personal favorite who had covered himself in his bed to go to sleep. Too much cuteness.

photo (58)On a last minute decision Edd and I stopped at the rather giant makeup and fragrance sale that was happening last week out at Greenlane. Here is the OPI table. I was a little overwhelmed whilst simultaneously being in a nail polish hoarder’s paradise. I was also very happy to go around guiding Edd in a few Christmas presents for myself haha. I impressed myself with self-control when surrounded with discounted nail polish and makeup but still walked away with a fair few goodies to put under the Christmas tree.
photo (57)And speaking of Christmas trees here is the biggest one I have seen around Auckland. This one lives at Sylvia Park which was a mall of madness when trying to Christmas shop. Will be sticking to St Lukes from now on I think.

Some other things that made me smile: wrapping Christmas presents up with someone I love, being allowed to drink tea again, pizza night and leftovers the next day, Christmas cards from friends, starting some wedding DIY decor projects, toffee nut frappes from Starbucks and watching old seasons of Survivor.

I hope everyone is having a great week :)

XX

Looking after my skin! (Skin Care Routine)

IMG_4015Hi All! I have had these photos  for a little while and I am finally putting up my skin care routine! I love reading other people’s posts on how they take care of their skin so it made sense to do my current one. My skin is super sensitive and very dry so I am pretty careful about what I use and tend to stick to what I know most of the time to avoid reactions. The other point I should make is that this is my skin care on a pretty tight budget, with products that I know I can afford to repurchase (not always the case however). If I had more to spend I would love to use better skin care products but at the moment it’s not really feasible and I am pretty satisfied with how all of these work.

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First up here are what I use to take off my makeup. The Garnier Clean Sensitive Facial Wipes are my best friend most of the time as I am notoriously lazy when it comes to makeup removal but the Neutrogena Oil-Free Eye Makeup Remover is what I use for stubborn eye makeup.

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I like to do face masks at least once a week and these are the two ones I often use. The Goji Berry Facial Hydration Mask is one I buy in single packs for around $3.50 each (I should really just get a full size) however I often spread the pack over two treatments as I find there is more than enough gel product. I think this mask is great for dry skin as my face feels soft and hydrated for ages after I use it. I also was happy that I had no negative reactions to it which I have had to other face masks. The Meaningful Beauty Clay Mask is one I got ages ago from my Mum and only started using a wee while ago. This is less of a moisturizing mask but does a great job at clearing out my skin and giving it a very clean and clear look. I also find it helps with my redness which I get a lot of on my face. I feel like this product is pretty expensive so not sure if I will repurchase or just find a similar alternative.

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For Cleansing I have a couple cleansers I like to use regularly but this one is always in my bathroom because it’s gentle on the skin and a creamy consistency that doesn’t leave my skin feeling dried out at all. A great gentle cleanser for the skin but not the best for removing heavy duty makeup which I tend to do with makeup wipes or remover beforehand. The price is around $10 at the supermarket so very affordable as well which is important on my current budget. Another one I love to use is the Nivea Essentials cream cleansing wash.

IMG_3975Following cleanser I apply toner over my face and neck area with a cotton pad and this one is a definite favorite. I love this range from Nivea but this is the only one I have been using long enough to really consider a core part of my skin routine. I love the fresh, cucumber scent and find it doesn’t irritate or dry out my skin very much. Again, I think this product is around $10 at the supermarket (on sale maybe) and so one that I can repurchase without freaking out.

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Next step is the most important for my poor dry skin…Moisturize! These are my two main moisturizers. The Olay Moisturizing cream (for sensitive skin) is my favorite (also by chance the cheapest which is probably a good thing) as it is thick and very moisturizing however this also means it can be a little annoying on a hot day. During summer it tends to be relegated to night time moisturizer whilst the Daily Face Cream by First Aid Beauty is a little better for day as it’s thinner on the skin. Neither have a sun protection factor which is annoying but although not mentioned here I do wear sun protection most of the time. Both of these are good for sensitive skin (the whole range at F.A.B. is made with sensitive skin in mind which I LOVE) however I do get a little bit of an uncomfortable tingling sensation on my skin sometimes which doesn’t happen with the Olay. Anyway, both are moisturizers I would highly recommend for people with similar skin. Price wise the Olay is around $11 and the F.A.B. is quite a bit more, in the $25 range maybe?

IMG_3996Last up I have my two eye creams. I never used to bother with eye creams but a while a go I was given the Loreal Collagen Eye Filler and started to use it daily. I like this product because it has a slight brightness which really helps reduce my under eye circles and darkness. For me it is quite moisturizing but I wouldn’t know much about wrinkle disappearance just because I am terrible at keeping track of my eye wrinkles haha. The Dr Lewinn’s is the main expensive product on here (around $30 I think from the Supermarket) however I do think it is a very good eye cream in terms of moisturizing but less great at short term disappearance of under eye circles and what not. I also think it does a better job at helping reduce wrinkles as even I noticed a small difference when I started using it. Although it is more expensive than the L’oreal I think it is a better eye product however I do love them both for slightly different reasons.

So those are my key steps and products involved in keeping my rather iffy skin under control. I’d love to hear what any of you guys use on a day to day basis for skin care and any reccomendations you might have so please feel free to leave a comment or tweet me @liz_lock :)

Xx

Made Me Smile: Time for an Update

So I am pretty sure I owe everyone a bit of an update along with my Monday made me smile! I have been missing in action from MyFoxyCorner for the last couple of weeks due to a nose operation I had (septoplasty and bilateral inferior turbinoblasties in case anyone is interested, hope I got those right :-/). It wasn’t a serious operation at all but was one I had been wanting to get done for ages. Since I can remember I have always had constant blocked noses, colds for 90% of the year and various other sicknesses and the suspected cause of this was a stuffed up nose. After seeing a specialist the operation was suggested and thanks to my private health insurance it was all go! Now I am in recovery period (6 days since operation) and feeling surprisingly well! At first I felt like my nose had been crushed and my whole face had been punched in but gradually the pain has become more manageable (although I can’t say I am looking forward to stopping the pain medication) and I don’t feel as much like fainting every time I stand up! So today I thought it was time to get back to reality and  post a few photos from last couple of weeks (mostly pre-op though as I am not one to document my less favorite moments in life).

photo (66)So before I had operation I was at my dad’s finishing off the two weeks of Nanny work and so made some chocolate cupcakes with chocolate/vanilla buttercream to share with everyone and so that dad had something yummy to come home to. Such a fool proof recipe that works every time I do it, I must get around to sharing with you all!

photo (65)On the last day when they came home it was time for a dog bath in order to prepare for lots of dog cuddling. Tilly is NOT one of those dogs that like baths. Luckily she only managed to jump out on me once but she was not a big fan of mine afterwards. Lucky she is such a cutie though.

photo (63)I had to include this action shot of Flick chasing Tilly around the room post-bath! Flick the Cat despises the Dog at the best of times but after her bath Tilly gets quite crazy and runs around, all the while with Flick looking on disapprovingly. This time Flick had had enough of Tilly and so proceeded to chase her all over the house for ages. It was hilarious to watch and I’m glad I got a shot of them in action haha!

photo (59)Dad and Pip brought back with them a few Essie colours that I had requested as I can afford the $8 US much more than the $26 NZ. These are all gorgeous colours and my two favorites are Fiji (the only non-blue), Go Overboard (beautiful dark teal) and Stroke of Brilliance (the stunning cornflower blue top coat) but I can’t wait to wear all of them! The other ones are beach bum blu (2nd from left) and midnight cami (last).

photo (58)A delicious breakfast out on the weekend before operation at Buckland’s Beach. Edd had the Eggs Benedict which looked scrumptious and I had the Muesli with fruit and yogurt plus a Soy chai latte, both of which were perfection! This is making me hungry!

photo (61)And post op my photos mainly consist of Callie who has been my buddy for the past week as I was restricted to bed rest (sounded great at the start but got super boring lol). She has to sleep on me and can’t just sleep beside me on the bed which was annoying but cute :) I was just happy to have someone home with me whilst the Amazing Edd was busy at work. Edd did an amazing job of taking care of me when he could be home :) I would have been lost without him!

photo (62)Yesterday was the first day I dragged myself out of bed to set up some Christmas decorations with Edd! He got out our second hand Christmas tree that is a bit wonky and funny looking but is ours! We never normally do Christmas decorations at home because our old flatmates weren’t that interested and we spend the days around Christmas with family and not in our little flat anyway. Last year however, some family friends who were heading back to another country gave us their little tree and so this year Christmas at our flat was born!  $20 of tinsel/lights/decorations later and I was one very happy little fox with a beautiful Christmas tree to sit and stare at! I got so much joy out of doing a bit of Christmas decoration with Edd (who is just as excited for Christmas as me) and now we can’t wait to do some Christmas shopping as soon as I am well enough! Callie was a bit confused but I’m sure she loves it too 😉

So there is my last couple of weeks in smiles! Now I have so much to do but also so much to look forward to and I am very excited! Sorry for skipping out on last month’s favorites but blogging should be back on track now and I have so many posts ready to write out for you all. See you soon!

Xx

Albums of November

Hi All!

My three end of month posts are all going to be a bit late for November so apologies in advance :-) Here is the first, three albums that have stood out this month and have been been on repeatedly!

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1. Bon Iver: Bon Iver

Not a new favorite by far but one I have loved for the entirety of this year however this month it has been popping up more than usual. Compared to their first amazing album which I also love this has a very different feel. A blissful yet melancholic sound with Vernon’s falsetto paired perfectly with a soaring band to create a variety of songs that are both personal and yet grand, solemn yet hopeful. Trying to comprehend the lyrics is nearly impossible yet the fractured poetry of Vernon’s lyrics are conveyed in a confusing, beautiful way. Definitely worth a listen especially if indie/folk is something you enjoy.

Songs you should go listen to: MinnesotaWI, Holocene, Michicant, Hinnom TX (but I seriously adore each little piece of perfection this album offers up in every song)

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2. Lena: Stardust

After hearing that a friend (the wonderful Reese) was enjoying this album I gave it a listen. Although it’s different from a lot of my usual music this album from a gorgeous German singer is pop yet sophisticated and elevated with a quirky element that sets it apart from the norm in my mind. An album that I enjoy singing along too and that is catchy, fun and interesting. Lena’s stunning voice is a pleasure to listen to and the whole album is an enjoyable experience that I see being played even more during the summer.

Songs you should go listen to: Stardust, Mr Arrow Key, To the Moon, I’m Black, Goosebumps

 

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3. Bic Runga: Belle

Bic Runga is a New Zealand artist who has always been a favorite and an export that I will always be proud of. Her stunning voice when paired with quirky tunes and catchy lyrics provide excellent car drive sing-a-long music. As well as the rather mainstream, pop songs that she elevates through sheer skill there are also a variety of different sounds on this album, with her time in France shining through in some quaint tunes as well as some slightly moodier tunes. All the different sounds are done with Bic Runga’s classic vocals and a sense of daring and character. The album features a lot of collaboration which works in the album’s favour, keeping the sounds fresh and different but still Runga at heart and the combination of her vocals with Nielson’s are dreamy.

Songs you should go listen to: Tiny Little Piece Of My Heart, This Girl’s Prepared For War, Everything Is Beautiful And New, Belle, Darkness All Around Us (my absolute favorite!)

Bit of a short one this month! Let me know what some of your favorites are or if you listen to any of these :-) All are worth a try, I pinky promise!

Friday Letters: Nearly Home-Time!

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Dear Callie: I miss you but tomorrow night I will be home with you finally! Yay! Dear Bed: Looking forward to spending some quality time together shortly. Dear Surgeon: You seem like a nice, intelligent guy. Please don’t kill me on Tuesday. Dear Summer: Hi, Nice to Meet You. Please let this weather stick around until the 17th of February. Thanks in advance. Dear Mum: Have a lovely trip to Adelaide! Thank you for helping me out work-wise now that I am unemployed and no longer can use being a student as an excuse. I love knowing you are always on my side in helping me tackle life. Dear Mr 5 and Mr 10: Although I am exhausted after our two weeks I will actually miss the chaos of life with you! You are both such amazing and unique people who will grow up to do amazing things. This I know. Don’t ever give up on your dreams or let others beat you down and know that there is always someone who will be on your side and love you unconditionally. What are big sisters for? Dear Monthly Favorites: I am afraid you will be slightly delayed but early November still counts right? Dear Soy Chai Lattes: After detesting soy milk throughout my childhood when I was forced to have it instead of normal milk I now love you. Your nutty flavor goes perfectly with the spices of a chai latte and creates a drink that is almost too delicious. Dear Edd: Sometimes I feel like you love Callie more than me…but I probably make you feel the same so let’s just agree us three all love each other unquantifiably.

Taking care of my cuticles!

Hi all

Thought I would chuck up a quick post on my favorite products for cuticle care! Since stopping biting my nails I have become more than a little obsessed with nail polish and keeping my nails in good condition. These are 4 of my current cuticle care products, all of varying price and quality. The only other product I want to buy is Lush Lemony Flutter which I know is one of the most popular nail care products but $20 is a little expensive and I rarely go to a Lush store.  Anyhow here are the ones I do have :) I apologize in advance for the rather decrepit state of these but they often travel around and my handbag is not a gentle environment  stuffed with books, nail files and goodness knows what else.

First up is another huge favorite on the internet, Burt’s Bees Lemon Butter Cuticle Cream. This is one of my  favorites and the reason why I don’t bother with lemony flutter. This cuticle balm (not a cream as in the name, much more of a solid oil based product) is moisturizing without being overly greasy and I love the scent! It smells like fresh lemon juice, subtle and citrusy. This is a handbag staple for me. Also a little goes a long way so despite the slightly higher price tag compared to the others I think the value is still pretty good. My only negative for this product is the lid can be a pain in the ass to get off and sometimes it is hard to get enough product on your finger to rub on the cuticles.

Orly’s Cuticle Oil is another product I would repurchase as soon as it runs out. This is what I tend to use when I am doing nails at home or putting oil on near all my nail polish stuff as it’s not so easy to carry around in a bag. This is just a liquid oil which has a brush like any of their other nail care products, making application very easy and hassle-free. I love the smell of this,  a soft and sweet citrus scent! And its great for massaging into the nails and cuticles, providing quite long lasting moisture. I believe this retails for around $9 at places like Farmers which I think is quite reasonable as I have had this for ages and use it all the time but it is still half full.

Badger Cuticle Care Balm: This is a similar product to the Burt’s Bee’s in that it is an oily formula in a tin that is easy to chuck in the handbag. The differences for me are that this product is a little less solid and more oily which means I feel it moisturizes better but also is greasier so I tend not to use when on the go/in a rush. It is a lot easier to get product out as it is a slightly softer texture. I love this brand as all their balms are full of organic ingredients! Keep an eye out for one of their products coming up in November favorites! I would rate this above Burt’s Bees purely because it is cheaper and yet bigger in size. Also I think I slightly prefer the smell (a fresh, lemongrass scent) however it is a lot stronger so maybe not so great for those sensitive to strong smells. Definitely recommend giving this or any of their other products a try.

Last up is the newest addition to my cuticle care range: Sally Hansen Cuticle Cream. I picked this up as it was only $8 from the local postie plus. This is definitely a cream, not a balm and I like that it isn’t to greasy and feels quite moisturizing. The smell is pleasant and not too strong and there are lots of oils and what nots to keep the nails healthy.However, of all 4 this is my least favorite and the only one I probably wouldn’t bother getting again. Firstly this was pretty much the contents of the pot when I opened the packaging and to me that is a pretty pathetic amount of cream (whereas the Lemony Flutter cream despite being expensive has a lot more product and would last a lot longer). Its possible I got a dud but who knows. Secondly I prefer some of the other organic products over this as they feel better on my skin in the long term whereas the moisturizing qualities of this wear off pretty quickly. Lastly…well I probably have enough products and don’t need one that I don’t think is quite up to the standards of the other three (might save up for Lush instead).  Not a bad product, just not a favorite.

Overall Winner? It was tough to choose between top three but in the end I think the Badger Cuticle Balm is the best value for money! The tubs are only around $10 which is very reasonable considering the large size, great quality and use of organic products.

I have next month a full nail care post with some of my favorite products e.g. base coats, cuticle removers etc in case anyone is interested :)

What do you use for cuticle care?

Xx

Made Me Smile…running late

Hi All!

So I am often running late in life and this post is no exception. I’m sure you were absolutely devastated that I didn’t post this yesterday (! ;)) but I thought Tuesday would do. Looking after my 2 youngest brothers and the animals whilst my Dad and Step-Mum are in New York has been tiring and taken over most aspects of my life including blogging and makeup (which I haven’t touched all week, oops). Here was last week in smiles :)

Edd and Tilly napping after a long tiring day. What a pair of cuties.

Mid-week I got my SampleBar box which was a lovely addition to my day and I was rather pleased with the contents which you can read all about right here.

This is Flick and Tilly and they don’t share much love so this rare moment of happy eating had to captured as photographic proof that food is pretty awesome for bringing people together.

Saturday Night Edd and I went with his family to see the Mary Poppins stage musical in Auckland as a birthday present for his Mum. It was pretty incredible and I was smiling for almost every minute. Definitely recommend to everyone as we all enjoyed it immensely.

Seeing Callie clean her face like this makes me smile/giggle uncontrollably. Seriously, it’s kind of a problem especially in the middle of the night when Callie does this and I can’t help but giggle. Needless to say Edd wakes up pretty confused. I thought I would stop eventually but I have come to accept my brain just literally cannot accept all the cuteness. P.s. I miss Callie and can’t wait to go home to her at the end of this week :)

Amazing clouds in the sky captured mid-evening at a School art exhibition the boys and I trooped along to. Mr 5 was stoked at being able to play on the school playground at 7.30 pm instead of having to get ready for bed and was exhausted the next day haha.

Doggy Kisses. Need I say more?

Other things that made me smile this week: Passing every course for last semester with another strong A- average which I was pretty content to finish on. Soy chai lattes which are incredibly delicious despite me refusing to drink soy milk as a child. Cupcake day at School. Mr 5 being the best swimmer in his swimming class (I felt so proud I could have burst!). Dog walks in the hot sun that means it is almost summer. Making small but steady progress on Wedding planning.

Hope everyone enjoyed their week :)

xxx

Where to from here…?

So if you read my post about what I learnt from Uni you may be wondering what will I do now? (Or maybe it is just me pondering this question).

After spending my life at school and then at Uni with no break in between study feels like my life, what I know, what I am comfortable with. So naturally I planned to carry on with it. Unfortunately the program I wanted to carry on with was a 4 year honors/PhD combined program in clinical psychology which took only 11 students per year and the key quality for them in choosing was Life Experience. I can quantify my grades, I can record every job of every year and every ounce of work experience. But life experience?  Despite my 21 years I feel I do have more life experience than some but I completely understand their reservations in training up someone who has never worked full time, hasn’t been married, has no kids and so on. How can I help others cope with the issues they face when I still have a lot of room to grow and mature? So I applied and in case you hadn’t gathered I didn’t get through. Was I surprised? Not at all. Was I disappointed? Utterly devastated. This is my dream and to be able to get in would have meant the next 4 years being planned and ready. Instead I was left feeling like I had failed (and I take failure a little too seriously some may say). Skip forward a couple days of tears and self-doubt/shame and I was feeling a bit different. I still feel embarrassed to tell people, even though it would have been a very slim chance of getting in I can’t help but feel that sense of not being good enough (which I wasn’t) and having to admit to people that I failed to prove myself this time around makes my heart hurt.

On the flip-side of this rather depressing coin was the positive thinking (which was helped by my amazing mum and fiancee who told me I was silly for feeling like a failure and reminded me of the facts). After 4 years of study I am tired. Mentally, Emotionally and Physically tired. So although clinical psych is what I want to do, going straight into another 4 years of study that would be a lot harder was daunting. To be honest I wasn’t sure I could take it. I needed a break and a change from the study that had consumed my life. So God shut this door for now and to be honest I don’t blame him. Maybe I am not ready right now for this 4 year program and maybe in a couple years time I will be in a better place to cope with what the course throws at me.

Okay whew that was a rambly explanation of what I’m not doing haha. Now onto where I am going in the next couple of years. First up I want to do a 3 week CELTA (English language teaching qualification) which is held in January and is a great way to start earning more than minimum wage in whichever city/country I happen to be in. Then in August/September the idea is that Edd and I will up and leave New Zealand to move to Paris for a year. I will work in English teaching and anything else possible (having just done an art history major I would love to do some work in an art gallery) and Edd will hopefully get some work in software/testing as that is what he has been doing so far this year. Why France you ask? (Probably not as I am sure France is pretty self-explanatory). I did French in high school/uni and love everything about France and Paris and Edd feels pretty much the same way.  Moving away from NZ has its downsides namely leaving our family which we are very close to and leaving Callie! Our lovely baby (Cat) will be relocated to one of our Family’s houses where she will be looked after and hopefully settle in. Leaving Callie feels a little bit like abandoning my child (a total exaggeration I’m sure but not having kids she’s the closest I’ve got haha – cue uncontrollable feelings of guilt haha). If I could easily bring her with me I would. Although leaving our family will be weird and terrifying for me at least, it is also part of why this is a good idea. Being reliant on family is something I need to work on and by moving overseas with Edd I think I can grow and mature in a way I haven’t been able to yet. So after a year in France we will come on back to NZ and I will probably apply for the psych program again hopefully with more life experience and a renewed ability to throw myself in to the program. So there are my next three years penciled out. Is France set in stone? Nope but it’s our main goal at the moment and to be honest sounds close to perfection. Coffees, walks through Paris in the rain, tiny apartments, boulangeries, endless varieties of cheese at local markets, Europe at our doorstep, weekends filled with art galleries and museums… It won’t be easy but it will be an amazing experience for us both.

I guess I should also mention a couple of other things that are fast approaching. First off in a couple of weeks (4th December all going well) I will be having nose surgery  No, not to make my nose beautiful and shapely but to reshape the interior and bust up my misbehaving sinuses, all which should help with my chronic sinusitis and other related health issues. I am a little terrified after being warned of the various risks but excited to get this done. Then after January and the CELTA course Edd and I have our wee wedding in Feb (17th) so that will be a pretty exciting moment in both of our lives! Needless to say I have mountains of wedding planning to work on whilst stuck home in bed for couple of weeks after surgery.

Well, that was a mouthful. There is my life laid out for ya’ll to see. I’m nervous, I’m excited, I’m … well I’m still a little removed from it all to be honest. It doesn’t quite feel real at the moment haha. For Edd and I the key is to remain flexible and yet hard working so we can keep saving the money that will allow us to go to France if we decide to.

This is an excerpt from one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost (The Road Not Taken) which seemed rather appropriate now faced with the future. The importance of the choices we make and yet the inability to see the true effects each choice will have on our future rings clear as Edd and I try to make our way through the future. I only pray for the wisdom and strength to choose my paths in life and gain from them the most that I can, with my partner alongside.

Anyway, I am sure this is a pointless post for most but in case anyone was curious as to where my life was heading after Uni I though I would quickly throw this up. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend

Xx

Friday’s Letters: Kitty Cuddles

Dear Flick: Thank you for giving me kitty cuddles when I am missing the lovely Callie spending two weeks not at home. You are a crazy, violent, manic cat but when you are asleep we get along rather well. Dear Callie: Don’t worry, you still hold the kitty part of my heart. Dear Self: You talk to cat’s too much. People will start to think you are crazy cat lady who just uses blog for random ramblings and this isn’t the case at all…is it?  Dear Nose Specialist: I appreciate the reason why you have to inform me of every possible risk of my upcoming nose surgery but I would rather remain blissfully ignorant. Blindness, brain fluid leaks and nose perforations are now common features in dreams/nightmares (to name a few). Dear Mr 5 and Mr 10: We are 1 week through my 2 weeks of being your incredibly awesome full time Nanny so thank you for not making this harder than it needs to be and for bring fun and laughter into every day. And yes you still have to eat all your veggies, sorry. Dear Edd: Thank you for being here with me for most nights (save a few to keep Callie company) to suffer alongside me haha. Everything’s easier when I have a partner. Dear Cognitive Neuropsych: I passed you. I actually passed you. I have never been this relieved in my whole 4 years at university. Getting a B was much preferred to the fail I was 90% expecting. Having said that I wish to never see you again. Dear Tilly: I know you hate baths but proceeding to jump out of the bath right onto me was an unpleasant surprise. Furthermore, waking me up at 6am to take you for a walk is great for my fitness but terrible for my sleep. I am not a morning person. End of story.  Dear Lovely Mish: I am so happy things are falling into place for you and your amazing family! I am 50% excited for you guys to leave for Aussie but 50% dying inside to lose a friend I only just recently realized I had! Letter writing will be fun though :) and having you as a makeup mule and a holiday house is hardly a bad thing haha. Dear Sleep: I miss you.

 

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