Posts Tagged ‘life’

July in Review

July wrap up instagram myfoxycorner

August has arrived and slapped us all in the face with its warmer temperatures and proximity to Christmas (I know I am not the only one counting down the days guys). July was a month that flew by, and it was a weird month with some memories that I will hold forever (99% of it was probably pretty forgettable and spent watching countless Bachelorette episodes).

 The best thing: Getting out and exploring, trying new places and doing new things. It doesn’t happen often but when it does I always have so much fun.

The hardest thing: Being on a Jury for the first time (and hopefully the last).

One thing I learned: I’m a stronger person when I trust in myself and stop worrying about everyone else. Also learnt a bunch of facts about space because I got bored one day and decided to read up.

On the blog: I had a really cathartic experience writing this recent post on why growing up is so hard and confusing, it’s not often that I just let my thoughts out and worry about whether it makes sense later.

Goals for August: Improve my gym attendance and find a new flat mate (if you know anyone who loves cats, isn’t a dick and needs a room let me know..).

July on Instagram
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  1. I crocheted my first scarf and Merlin was my model. It accidentally ended up looking like I belong in Gryffindor but to be honest I don’t even mind (despite being a Ravenclaw at heart).
  2. I also baked these salted caramel cupcakes and they continue to be a favourite. I still have a heap of left over caramel sauce in the fridge so throw me some ideas for what to do with it (other that eat some every time I go to get a vegetable, very dangerous).
  3. Edd and I went out to try and explore our back yard a little more, doing an incredible bush walk out in the Waitakeres. Well it was incredible until we had to climb up the side of a dam, luckily my many fears don’t include heights otherwise I might have been frozen half way up and never returned.
  4. After a great mums and bubs brunch club event I took Mr 7 to Butterfly Creek. This was about 1 second before I decided the butterfly was too close to my eyes and began to panic. Fun times.
  5. Slipping in a photo from Paris last year, because I don’t understand how a year has passed and why has no one invented a time machine yet.
  6. New favourite cafe spot located at Cosset in Mt Albert, a vegan/vegetarian heaven with pancakes that were delicious and coffee that was strong. Win.
  7. It wouldn’t be winter without a tree silhouette and an early sunset. Beautiful city.
  8. 90s party vibes, I even sourced a mood ring guys.
  9. Ended July by getting super sick in a very quick timeframe. So this is me celebrating the fact that at 5pm I finally dragged myself out of bed, mainly so that I could be closer to the heat pump.

What’s coming up?

August is a busy month, every one is having birthdays and get togethers, people are moving and changing jobs. Me; I’m staying in the same place, in the same job and just trying to enjoy each day. I have tickets to see Dylan Moran at the end of this month so that will be something I will look forward to each time I reach for the red wine!

And on that note… xxx

 

Friday’s Letters: every city was a gift

Friday's Letters

0Dear Job Interviews: It’s so strange to sit on the other side of the table and I’m so grateful for the chance to learn and grow in this way (even if I do sometimes feel just as nervous as if it was me sitting there trying to hide how terrified I am).

Dear Florence: Thanks for releasing another ridiculously great album for me to belt out in the car. Sorry that my vocal range is 1/100th of yours and therefore your songs don’t even sound a little bit similar when they are coming out of my mouth (well sorrybutnotsorry).

Dear Incredibly Impressive Crocheted Scarf: I am way more proud of you than I should be (sorry to everyone else who I keep raving on to about it). What can I say except I normally screw things up in some way and yet you turned out great (accidently channelling Gryffindor but I’m not complaining). And just in time for some freezing weather, all in all, a pretty good effort.

Dear Friends: I don’t know how I got so lucky and ended up surrounded by so many different people and groups of friends. Even though you keep me busy, you also keep me sane (and very well-fed). I’m so appreciative of the different ways that each and every one of you make me a better person, and make life a more enjoyable place to exist within.

Dear Anah: I miss you and your chubby cheeks so damn much. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face everytime I see your adorable face. Here’s to many more playground dates where I try not to let you hurt yourself or eat dirt (also if your mum ever decides to move to Auckland so that I can see you more often that would be swell, just saying.)

Dear Chocolate: If you could just stop coming out in new and delicious flavours that I have to try (at least a few times to ensure reliability of the product) that would be great because at the moment my cupboard is full of different blocks to try and it’s driving me crazy.

Dear Auckland: Its been a year since I came home from Europe, and in that time I think I have been so preoccupied with missing those far-off cities that I had ignored the one at my front door. Thank you for being so amazing, even if sometimes I forget how lucky I am. I promise to put some more effort into our relationship and into discovering a few more of your hidden secrets.

Dear Self: Sometimes I think its important to just remind you that I forgive you. Everything we did wrong, everything we fucked up, every time we made a wrong decision or turn, hurt someone else without meaning to or hurt ourselves in ways that weren’t deserved. I forgive you for all this, and for all the mistakes we will make in the future. Go have some chocolate.

Taking Stock | April 2015

It’s been a fair few months since my last Taking Stock post, and I felt like doing one again :) If you want to join in go and grab the blank list over on Pip’s blog. This year is going so quickly and I almost feel like if I sit down and focus on the following list it’s like I am holding on to this moment in time, like sand slipping through my fingers. So lets sit and ponder, shall we?

Taking Stock April

Making : Lists, everyday, to try and help me keep priorities in order and make my mind less chaotic (I’m one of those people who in the middle of the night won’t be able to sleep because I will be listing things on my fingers that need to be done, this is much less stressful if I can just write it down and leave it til morning)
Cooking : Chickpea, tomato and coconut curry. Real yum
Drinking : Lemon, ginger and honey with hot water. Have started doing this almost daily and loving it (plus hoping it will ward off my cold that I feel approaching)
Reading: A book called the Biology of Belief, challenges my mind which is good
Wanting: Another cat so that Merlin can have a little friend to play with
Looking: For ways to make my home more beautiful
Playing: Minecraft, Mr 7 is teaching me how (I’m a slow learner it turns out)
Deciding: Which gym classes to go to during the week
Wishing: That there were more hours in a day, more days in the year, more years in my life. If I could just have a couple of lifetimes to live out all the different dreams I have, that would be swell
Enjoying: The moment
Waiting: To see what happens with my job and the future
Liking: The possibilities each day holds
Wondering: What other people would say are their main values in life, and wondering what mine are or should be
Loving: My family and my Merlin, even when he brings in the biggest insects he can find and lets them loose in the house (minus several legs)
Pondering: The ways to make my life the way I want it
Considering: Taking up sign language classes
Buying: All the necessary things to start learning to crochet, wish me luck!
Watching: Community and remembering how funny and clever the first couple of seasons are (Troy and Abed 4eva <3)
Hoping: That I can make some time to bake again soon, its been to long!
Marvelling: At how the different people I know are all so different and have such amazing qualities, I have so much I can learn from others
Cringing: At some of the things I say. This is why I tend to just keep my mouth shut around people I am not close with
Needing: To learn how to just be me and appreciate that I am not everyone’s cup of tea (and that’s okay)
Questioning: How I can make myself more of a priority
Smelling: French pear, oh Ecoya, your candles will break my wallet some day
Wearing: My new Fitbit! Its the best thing. The best.
Following: along with the New Zealand Bachelor, and only feeling slightly embarrassed at how much I enjoy it. We all have our escapes, right?
Noticing: How much better I feel after a good night’s sleep
Knowing: That I need to make some changes to my exercise routine
Thinking: How lucky I am to have my husband going through life by my side
Admiring: People who seem to have it all figured out. And also Edd who is learning to drive and doing such an amazing job, despite having a crazy “supervisor” who would drive even the most patient learner insane. I’m really sorry x
Sorting: All my clothes, donated a whole bag of things I had been hanging on to for no real reason, and it felt amazing
Getting: A little more organised, day by day
Bookmarking: These finger tattoos that are totally hipster but I still really love them
Coveting: perfect skin. Is that a thing you can covet? If so I definitely covet it :-/
Disliking: Spinach leaves in smoothies. I am still figuring out the best way to disguise the taste
Opening: My diary more often. Turns out that having a diary is only really useful when you occasionally look at it…
Giggling: often, I’m blessed to live with some incredibly funny and weird flatmates
Feeling: Optimistic for the future and content with the present. The past can just stay where it belongs for now 😛
Snacking: Less, and generally succeeding (there is chocolate by my bed from Easter that I haven’t even devoured yet and I feel like this is a big thing)
Wishing: That I felt confident in my health and could trust that I am not going to get sick again soon
Helping: A good friend move in to her new flat after a two month trip to South America (and only feeling slightly envious of her amazing trip, okay a lot envious)
Hearing: new albums from Spotify, like the latest release by DeathCab which I fell in love with after the first listen.

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Leave a comment if you do a post like this or something similar, I think its such a nice way to just consider the different things all going on.

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Here comes the sun

Hi Everyone!

So I disappeared for a while and my apologies for just abandoning MyFoxyCorner for a month or more.  I took some time off blogging for no real reason other than I lacked motivation and enthusiasm for the blogging itself. I didn’t want to continue investing time and energy into something I wasn’t enjoying anymore. I went through a cycle of thoughts (delete the blog -> reinvent the blog -> just start where I left off -> no that wasn’t good enough -> just delete the blog) and so on and so forth for a month or two and now here I am. In the end I think work and life and all such things were making life busy and a little stressful and along with just a general lack of time I was going through a minor (major) blog identity crisis where I just didn’t see any point in it. There are so many incredible blogs and I was a little unsure as to why I even bothered.

But (thank goodness there’s a but!) in the end I missed blogging, a lot! And I had to go back and think about why I do this. Its not for stats or for publicity, its a space for me to write about things I like and document parts of my life that I want to share and come back to later. I like the community and the friends I have made and I love the fact that blogging lets me escape from my 8 hour day job and gives me some sort of outlet. I know there are a 1 million and 1 blogs like mine out there but in the end I blog for me. So I came back! Now I would love to promise that I’ll publish something 3 times a week without fail but until I set up a proper routine I won’t even bother. I hope you guys bear with me while I sort out my little space :)

So what have I been up to? I got a permanent role in the temporary job I was doing which offers more security, options and money so that was great. I discovered my new favorite cupcake recipe to bake which will be shared here soon. Edd and I broke down on the motorway today which was one of the more unpleasant experiences of my life. I started planning our trip to Europe next year which is SO exciting. I bought more nail polish that I can’t fit anywhere. I found an AWESOME new band who I love to DEATH (and who Edd is seriously sick of) so I can’t wait to share them with you! I went to the Auckland food show and seriously stuffed my face. Edd and I bought a fancy new camera (a dslr something somthing Nikon… Edd’s the expert, phew) so hopefully I can start sharing some pretty photos with you that aren’t all filtered and from instagram haha! Oh and I also bought my first pair of Doc Martens and they are AMAZING. I’m sure more as happened (but maybe not) but that’ll do for today and I will talk to you guys again soon!

In the mean time have some photos :)

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Deliciousness at Auckland Food Show

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Flick always makes a great model practice with the new camera

I forget how amazing Auckland is. Our latest weekend dog walks have helped me remember

I forget how amazing Auckland is. Our latest weekend dog walks have helped me remember

 

Friday’s Letters: Feeling the excitement

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Dear Wedding: Holy cow! How did you get to being 9 days away? Also how is there still so much left on my list…. Regardless of the stress the excitement is even more pronounced and I can’t wait for the day where I become the wife of my best friend! Dear Cabbage Soup: You were okay the first day of this dumb diet but now I am sick of you. The only good thing is that every time I am hungry (and you are my only option to eat) I automatically cease all feelings of hunger so that’s good…Dear Gym: I am so happy to have rejoined a gym. And boy you are fancy! I love the TVs on every bike and treadmill screen so that I can channel hop while I exercise. Dear Edd: Thankyou for being my gym buddy and helping me with my workouts. This whole thing is so much easier with someone by my side who pushes me and supports me (and corrects my bad wrist positions when I do weights). Dear Callie: I know you love the rain and that you also love getting a towel dry but coming in and out several times in the space of an hour just to enjoy this repeatedly is a little time consuming. Dear Family: I can’t believe how supportive everyone is during this time of stressful last minute planning. No way could I do this myself. Dear Job Hunting: I would love to tell you to get stuffed but unfortunately I still need a job :( And all of my energy going into wedding planning makes this rather difficult. Why can’t the perfect job just find me? Dear Auckland: Thankyou for being so beautiful.

Where to from here…?

So if you read my post about what I learnt from Uni you may be wondering what will I do now? (Or maybe it is just me pondering this question).

After spending my life at school and then at Uni with no break in between study feels like my life, what I know, what I am comfortable with. So naturally I planned to carry on with it. Unfortunately the program I wanted to carry on with was a 4 year honors/PhD combined program in clinical psychology which took only 11 students per year and the key quality for them in choosing was Life Experience. I can quantify my grades, I can record every job of every year and every ounce of work experience. But life experience?  Despite my 21 years I feel I do have more life experience than some but I completely understand their reservations in training up someone who has never worked full time, hasn’t been married, has no kids and so on. How can I help others cope with the issues they face when I still have a lot of room to grow and mature? So I applied and in case you hadn’t gathered I didn’t get through. Was I surprised? Not at all. Was I disappointed? Utterly devastated. This is my dream and to be able to get in would have meant the next 4 years being planned and ready. Instead I was left feeling like I had failed (and I take failure a little too seriously some may say). Skip forward a couple days of tears and self-doubt/shame and I was feeling a bit different. I still feel embarrassed to tell people, even though it would have been a very slim chance of getting in I can’t help but feel that sense of not being good enough (which I wasn’t) and having to admit to people that I failed to prove myself this time around makes my heart hurt.

On the flip-side of this rather depressing coin was the positive thinking (which was helped by my amazing mum and fiancee who told me I was silly for feeling like a failure and reminded me of the facts). After 4 years of study I am tired. Mentally, Emotionally and Physically tired. So although clinical psych is what I want to do, going straight into another 4 years of study that would be a lot harder was daunting. To be honest I wasn’t sure I could take it. I needed a break and a change from the study that had consumed my life. So God shut this door for now and to be honest I don’t blame him. Maybe I am not ready right now for this 4 year program and maybe in a couple years time I will be in a better place to cope with what the course throws at me.

Okay whew that was a rambly explanation of what I’m not doing haha. Now onto where I am going in the next couple of years. First up I want to do a 3 week CELTA (English language teaching qualification) which is held in January and is a great way to start earning more than minimum wage in whichever city/country I happen to be in. Then in August/September the idea is that Edd and I will up and leave New Zealand to move to Paris for a year. I will work in English teaching and anything else possible (having just done an art history major I would love to do some work in an art gallery) and Edd will hopefully get some work in software/testing as that is what he has been doing so far this year. Why France you ask? (Probably not as I am sure France is pretty self-explanatory). I did French in high school/uni and love everything about France and Paris and Edd feels pretty much the same way.  Moving away from NZ has its downsides namely leaving our family which we are very close to and leaving Callie! Our lovely baby (Cat) will be relocated to one of our Family’s houses where she will be looked after and hopefully settle in. Leaving Callie feels a little bit like abandoning my child (a total exaggeration I’m sure but not having kids she’s the closest I’ve got haha – cue uncontrollable feelings of guilt haha). If I could easily bring her with me I would. Although leaving our family will be weird and terrifying for me at least, it is also part of why this is a good idea. Being reliant on family is something I need to work on and by moving overseas with Edd I think I can grow and mature in a way I haven’t been able to yet. So after a year in France we will come on back to NZ and I will probably apply for the psych program again hopefully with more life experience and a renewed ability to throw myself in to the program. So there are my next three years penciled out. Is France set in stone? Nope but it’s our main goal at the moment and to be honest sounds close to perfection. Coffees, walks through Paris in the rain, tiny apartments, boulangeries, endless varieties of cheese at local markets, Europe at our doorstep, weekends filled with art galleries and museums… It won’t be easy but it will be an amazing experience for us both.

I guess I should also mention a couple of other things that are fast approaching. First off in a couple of weeks (4th December all going well) I will be having nose surgery  No, not to make my nose beautiful and shapely but to reshape the interior and bust up my misbehaving sinuses, all which should help with my chronic sinusitis and other related health issues. I am a little terrified after being warned of the various risks but excited to get this done. Then after January and the CELTA course Edd and I have our wee wedding in Feb (17th) so that will be a pretty exciting moment in both of our lives! Needless to say I have mountains of wedding planning to work on whilst stuck home in bed for couple of weeks after surgery.

Well, that was a mouthful. There is my life laid out for ya’ll to see. I’m nervous, I’m excited, I’m … well I’m still a little removed from it all to be honest. It doesn’t quite feel real at the moment haha. For Edd and I the key is to remain flexible and yet hard working so we can keep saving the money that will allow us to go to France if we decide to.

This is an excerpt from one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost (The Road Not Taken) which seemed rather appropriate now faced with the future. The importance of the choices we make and yet the inability to see the true effects each choice will have on our future rings clear as Edd and I try to make our way through the future. I only pray for the wisdom and strength to choose my paths in life and gain from them the most that I can, with my partner alongside.

Anyway, I am sure this is a pointless post for most but in case anyone was curious as to where my life was heading after Uni I though I would quickly throw this up. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend

Xx

Friday’s Letters: Life is Precious

 

Dear Fox Mug: You and me were meant to be! I hope you will enjoy the daily tea sessions you and I shall share in the future. Dear Neuroscience exam: You got me good. I stuffed up studywise and felt the ramifications in one of my most horrible exams to date. I just hope I wrote enough crap down to pass you and move on with my life. Dear Edd: Thanks for buying me an early Christmas present! My skin is gonna felt like silk with all these dead sea mineral salt scrubs and what not! Woo! Dear Mum: Thanks for letting me come down to Waiuku and spend the day opshopping to forget about the previous days terror of an exam. And thanks for not acting like I shoulda done better :) Your constant support means the world. Dear Sister: I have so much love for you especially after you spent the day looking after me at blood tests and CT scans! Sometimes I forget you are the younger one, you are so calm and collected, quite unlike myself. Dear Peanut Butter and Cream Cheese Icing: Why you taste so good? Dear Nail Polish: I don”t know why but you are chipping a lot more than usual…Am I doing something wrong here?  Dear Life: After hearing about a death at the University this week I am feeling so blessed to be alive. No matter the stress of Uni and horrible horrible exams I have a life full of people who love and support me and for that I am so thankful. I know not everyone is so lucky and I just hope people know there is help for those who need it. Life is precious and I hope I remember that for as long as I am lucky enough to be alive.

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Made Me Smile

Hi All,

I hope everyone has had a great week. Today I had my second exam (out of 5) and I have another one tomorrow so this post is a 5 minute throw up and hope I don’t make too many spelling mistakes haha (I seem to do those a lot lately). Here are some of the highlights of my slightly boring week of exams and study.

This amazing bunch of goodies was kindly bought for my by my mum! She went to some big sale while I studied my wee behind off and managed to choose products that I totally would have chosen for myself. She knows me so well (especially when it comes to nail polish). I also have a review for the mascara coming up in a wee while as I love trying new ones out.

This week was the week of birthdays with Mr 4 turning into Mr 5 and Dad also celebrating his birthday! These little tarts were my baking gift for dad. Having never ventured into the world of tarts before this was an interesting experience but I was actually really happy with how they turned out. Chocolate orange on the top and lemon curd below. Both rather scrumptious.

A huge highlight of this week was Callie getting her crazy, annoying Elizabethan collar removed along with the stitches on her tail (or rather what’s left of it…awkward). She has been so much happier and more like her crazy self since, as exemplified with this blurry shot of her helping herself to a treat.

Okay so I am not an Outfit of the day kind of person (I generally don’t buy many clothes as a poor student and wear jeans and a top of some description most days) but on Sunday it was birthday party time for Mr 5 and I couldn’t help but snap a photo of this dress as it is definitely one of my favorites!

Mr 5’s birthday party was held at Kelly Tarlton’s, the main aquarium here in Auckland.It turned out to be heaps of fun despite having 12 crazy 4/5 years olds running around high on sugar. The penguins were my absolute favorite  along with the big stingrays as pictured below which for some reason just seem like giant puppy dogs of the sea.

So there’s my week in smiles! Wish me luck in my exam tomorrow :)

Xx

Perfection

I’m Not Perfect

I’m not the perfect daughter, sister, fiancee, friend, student, cat-mum, cleaner, baker, blogger, wedding planner or Christian.

I Make Mistakes

Sometimes I hurt other’s feelings. I forget birthdays. I forget how to say sorry. I get stubborn. I swear unnecessarily. I get jealous. I lie to others . I lie to myself. I forget to do things. I don’t treat others with respect. I don’t treat myself with respect. I leave everything to the last minute. I lose important stuff. I eat too much crap. I yell. I forget to take my vitamins. I avoid housecleaning. I forget to take my makeup off before bed. I put others down. I put myself down. I forget to be thankful. I over-mix my muffins. I cry too easily. I don’t tell the people I love that I love them enough. I worry too much. I watch too much reality TV. I forget to pray.

This is obviously not an exhaustive list.

But I try.

I try and enjoy each moment. I try and say sorry when I know I’m wrong. I try and ask for help; from friends, family and God. I try and forgive people who make the same mistakes I do. I try and treat others the way I want to be treated. I try and smile at strangers more often (although some people find that creepy). I try to pay attention to the recipes more. I try and be a little more organised without losing the ability to enjoy spontaneous moments of fun. I try to tell others how beautiful they are. I try to think about all the good things in my life and all the amazing people who I love and who love me. I try not to worry so much about the future and enjoy the present as I live it. I try and do kind things for others without expecting anything in return. I try to take better care of my body. I try to recognize the source of my jealousy and insecurities and work on not feeling them anymore. I try to study harder. I try and be there for my friends and family when they need someone. I try to become a slightly better person.

Perfection, for me, is an ideal that is not worth worrying about. All we can do is aim to improve and get better each day. Knowing where I go wrong and what my weaknesses are allows me to try and become a better person.

As hard as it is sharing some of my weaknesses and mistakes in life I know that we all experience moments of failure and disappointment,  either with ourselves or others. But life is about growing and moving and changing and that is what I hope to keep doing for everyday that I am lucky enough to be here :)

Hope you are all having an amazing week. Please feel free to share some of your faults so I don’t feel so awkward baring all 😛

 

Made Me Smile…Kinda

Hi All!

So this week has mainly consisted of vet trips, vet bills, angry kitty, annoying kitty, sad kitty, keeps me up at night kitty and so on with a not so small side of assignments. You get the picture. The bad news was that Monday night Callie had to go to the vets and she had her tail amputated Tuesday. The good news is that she can start healing (with one of those ridiculously annoying collars around her neck) and getting back to normal. Not my most favorite week. Here are the highlights :)

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